Here are some oneliners you may not have heard....
LOG ON: Adding wood to make the Barbie hotterLOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the BarbieMONITOR: Keeping an eye on the BarbieDOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the UteHARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinniesKEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keysWINDOWS: What you shut when the weather's coldSCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie seasonBYTE: What mozzies doMEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies doCHIP: Bar snackMICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chipsMODEM: What you did to the lawnsLAPTOP: Where the cat sleepsSOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red RoosterHARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-MartMOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shedMAINFRAME: What holds the shed upWEB: What spiders makeWEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandaSEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the Ute won't goCURSOR: What you say when the Ute won't goYAHOO: What you say when the Ute does goUPGRADE: A steep hillSERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunchMAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunchUSER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing thingsNETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing netINTERNET: Where you want the fish to goNETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the hole in the netONLINE: Where you hang the washingOFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough