"Who's colourless?"
"What! Whoa? That's harsh."
Two little seven-year-old girls giggled in the backseat of the car.
It was kids' silly hour, after a long day of tigers leaping, feeding kangaroos, watching crocs open their eyes, falling from 90 feet up and swinging 90 feet up on The Claw - "Oh, yeah!"
Almost Heaven is ... for my niece ... boarding The Claw while singing along to Taylor Swift's Love Story playing in the background.
A day at a theme park with cousins, aunts, uncles, parents and your best-ever friend who you knew even before you both were born because your mothers were friends.
"They knew each other when they were pregnant with us," the girls happily declare.
Swift thoughts. Smiling eyes. Gleeful shouts. But not quite fearless.
Fear didn't stop her from riding The Wipeout.
She sees this demon as we walk into Dreamworld.
Lucky she had me because no one else would've gone. I'm a cool aunt. Smug.
This is no aeroplane ride that goes around in circles I'm talking about here.
She has a moment of doubt as her mum walks off to take the other kids on tamer rides and we wait in line.
But our turn comes and she runs along the gangway and plonks into a seat with a broad grin.
"Are you OK?" - I scream as The Wipeout flips and twists and spins, rises and falls.
"NO!" she screams.
"Close your eyes!" - I scream, the whole of theme park hears it all ... I keep my eyes closed to keep the panic down.
"Are you OK?" I repeat.
"NO!" she screams.
"Hang on!" I scream, knowing the little daredevil would be just fine.
The attendant gives us a look of concern.
I ask her if she closed her eyes.
"No." No tears. No problem. Next ride.
We end the day on a playground swing except this swing, The Claw, arcs up into the wide blue yonder, swivels and dives down towards the ground from a very great height - higher than old-growth forests I think.
Better than The Wipeout, we agree.
So I'm offended, puzzled, hurt when the backseat rappers stop rapping and start talking about: colourless, overweighted, old lady?
Euphoria dies and paranoia takes hold. Who are they talking about?
"C"-"o"-"o"-"l" - that's what it stands for : colourless, overweighted, old lady.
It's an acronym the little friend had made up at school. It's a word game. Silent relief, thankfulness and amusement.
Cool doesn't mean cool ... interesting.
From Taylor Swift to gangster rap: Yo! Dawg! This Place Is Rockin' ... Yo! Dawg! This Place is Rockin'..."
No R-rated lyrics. Lot's of things to be thankful for.